10 December 2003
Dear Colleagues,
It has been almost one year since I took over as Director of the Human Resources Management Unit. I genuinely enjoy the job for many reasons, but I want to share with you a concern that I believe is of the highest importance: honest and direct feedback.
I recently got honest, direct and courageous feedback from a new CARE staff member who had come from the private sector and other institutions. This staff member was surprised by how we give feedback to each other at CARE. Too often, feedback comes to us circuitously, through gossip.
I have also come to realize that this behavior is widespread in the organization and that it is only damaging us as people and as an organization. Feedback by triangulation creates and perpetuates divisions between colleagues and units, and it hampers, if not stifles, our ability to grow and learn and carry out the mission of CARE.
Consequently, I urge all of us to have the courage to respectfully provide feedback to each other in a constructive way. Let us each first hold ourselves accountable for this, and then hold others accountable as well.
This behavior is what our core values require of us.
Thank you for your time and attention. I believe that we are all responsible for making this change happen and we all will benefit from it.
My best and most respectful regards,
Marc de Lamotte
lamotte@care.org
Message 2 - Promoting Direct and Honest Feedback
I again sincerely thank all of you who provided feedback to me on my previous communication regarding this issue. The number of emails I received proves that honest and direct feedback is definitely a matter that must be tackled. However, I feel it can be improved if each of us finds the courage to act on our values and hold ourselves accountable.
It is becoming quite clear that the fear of retribution is THE obstacle that prevents most of the staff from giving direct and honest feedback. I would like to share some of the comments from staff, who are not identified here:
“Being honest with the person who has the power to determine your job performance does not always create the best work environment for the employee. This is why most people don’t give honest feedback or any feedback, they just suffer in silence” said one staffer.
“This is an empowerment issue. I have gathered from my experience here that some have been made to feel less powerful than others; therefore, they do not want to do anything that may jeopardize their careers (including speaking up when something is wrong). No one is perfect, including supervisors, but sometimes an individual’s ego gets in the way of what is right. I think that some just need to be taken down a notch. We are all on this planet together and we must learn to work together in a more positive productive manner instead of a destructive hurtful manner. Please keep on pushing others into a new way of thinking and working with others. This will only help CARE manifest a new and refreshing environment where all feel welcome to speak the truth without fear of retribution from their supervisors,” said another.
“ I have to say that I admire your determination. I hope that you will push this message at the highest levels of the organization. If your second communication had any defects, it was the failure, in my estimation, to clearly articulate the point that the tone is set at the top of the organization. Therefore, it is essential that the top management model the behavior of “promoting direct and honest feedback”. Until the climate is changed, people will resort to all sorts of unfortunate ways of communication…”
It is time for all of us, and managers in particular, to engage in some self-examination. Let’s be humble enough to truly accept direct and honest feedback, and let’s not use our power to subtly and negatively damage our professional relationships and undermine our capacity to reach our ultimate goal, which is to eradicate poverty. With the help of Meg Burns in the Learning & Organizational Development Unit, I am including here some very useful tips for receiving feedback.
| Creating a High Trust Environment by Receiving Feedback
One of the many challenges we face at work is to bring out the best in people and in ourselves. A key practice to that end is the art of giving and receiving feedback. Doing this, however, creates a great deal of emotional tension and anxiety in people. How to say what we want to say—and harder yet, how to receive what we have heard—creates discomfort, and sometimes prompts retribution from people who are on the receiving end of the message. This is an interesting challenge for us all.
Here are some tips for accepting feedback: First - say, “Thank you”. Whether you agree with what you are hearing or not, acknowledge and appreciate the fact that the other person cared enough and especially thought about you.
Second - listen to the other person completely . Resist the immediate need to defend, explain, or argue back. Remember, feedback is always subjective and the giver most likely has a very different experience and perspective from yours. Your best response to someone’s feedback is to ask open questions to understand the other person’s feelings and thoughts completely.
Third - rather than reach a decision or conclusion about the feedback at the time you receive it, take time to think about it. Explain that you appreciate what you heard and that you would like time to reflect on it before you respond. This will end the immediate feedback dialog and will give you the hours or days you need to reflect.
Fourth - While you are reflecting, back on the job or in the office, manage your emotional response. If what you heard hurt or does not match your own self-image or opinion, do not succumb to immature and perhaps instinctual desires to confront or “get revenge”. Unconscious actions such as silence, retribution, playing favorites with those whom you like, can do extreme harm to the work environment. Retribution can be subtle and seep out over time, such as expressing vague doubts about a person who is being considered for a new job or a special assignment. Trust is lost and credibility is undermined when people “get back” at those who have provided feedback.
Fifth - Once you have reflected on the feedback, you must follow up with the person who gave it to you. Tell him or her what you have thought about and share what you have decided to do about it. If you think the feedback is important for creating a healthy, positive work environment, then say what you will change. Better yet, express your need for help or support in order to do that. If you think the feedback is not relevant for creating a healthy, positive work environment, then share your perspective and explain why you have decided to leave things as they are. Or better yet, share your personal thoughts about the feedback. In both cases, always express appreciation to the individual for giving you their thoughts and feedback. |
The biggest constraint to bringing out the best in people and in ourselves is fear—fear of making mistakes, fear of retribution, fear of embarrassment, fear of feeling uncomfortable. How we interact with one another needs to support trust and reduce fear. So please, let’s commit to investing energy toward reducing fear and constraints in our work environment. A first step, when someone gives us feedback, is to be approachable, receptive, interested and appreciative .
Applying the above is in line with our values. Improving our working atmosphere and morale is in our own hands.
Let’s do it!
Marc de Lamotte
lamotte@care.org
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